The 'Wild Mountain Thyme' Trailer Is Proof Hollywood Needs To Keep Out of Ireland
The upcoming romance movie doesn't promise to be a very good thyme for Irish viewers
The Real Housewives of Orange County will be relieved to hear that as of 10 November 2020, they no longer hold the number one spot on the 'Worst Things that Have Happened to Ireland' list. Now, the list goes as follows:
The Wild Mountain Thyme trailer
The Real Housewives of Orange County's trip to Wicklow
British colonisation
The Great Famine
The Catholic Church
Yes, the trailer for the Ireland-set romance starring Emily Blunt, Jamie Dornan, John Hamm and Christopher Walken has just dropped, and the fallout is nearing 'Saoirse Ronan hosts SNL' proportions. Written by the Academy Award-winning John Patrick Shanley, Wild Mountain Thyme is based on his play Outside Mullingar. With the amount of stock footage that pans over coasts and rivers, I'm not sure just how far outside Mullingar this movie is taking us. But that's the least of the concerns this trailer prompts.
Christopher Walken croons his narration somewhere between Kerryman and Englishman (though he sounds somewhat Bostonian in the clips of his actual scenes?) as we are introduced to Rosemary Muldoom (Blunt) and her stemming-from-childhood affections for Anthony Reilly (Dornan). We know her spirit is as wild and fiery as her hair because she has dirt on her face and hops on horses with no protective gear. But spirited as she is, she can't help but swoon at Anthony "when he says dose tings" about herself and the fields, or adorably falls over.
As Rosemary twirls around her cottage in a shawl and Anthony's dad (Walken) dresses kinda like he belongs in Peaky Blinders, you'd be forgiven for thinking this film takes place no later than the 1950s. This is further reinforced when Adam (Hamm), Anthony's American cousin, seemingly introduces them to vehicles that aren't tractors in the form of an old-timey Rolls Royce. But then Rosemary announces she'd freeze her eggs to wait on Anthony (who, by the way, owns a wired landline phone), which doesn't quite fit the Old Country aesthetic.
I'm actually not sure what this movie is supposed to be about (stereotypes, maybe?) but things seem to get complicated with Adam's arrival. The trailer then shows Adam bringing Rosemary to the 21st Century in what appears to be a post-9/11 New York City, where her hair suddenly becomes tidily-styled and her clothing looks like it came off the racks of Forever 21. The pair kiss before the Manhattan skyline, launching a montage of shots back in Ireland where things are tense and farm-y. Rosemary also sings the song this movie is titled after because of course she does. I suppose we should be grateful it isn't 'Danny Boy.'
Anthony is furious at Rosemary for kissing his cousin and just when you think the Oirish accents of this near 3-minute trailer can't get any worse, she shouts, "it was HE that kissed ME!" in a way that is going to haunt me any time I see Emily Blunt in anything ever again. Once Oi finish moiy porridge, the only thing Oi've eaten since Black '47 decimated moiy country, Oi'm gowin te slam downe a Guinness in an attempt to repress de mem'ry.
Hamm is the only actor in this trailer who has escaped accent backlash as he was clever enough to nab the role where he could keep his own. Blunt's participation is somewhat confusing; considering she grew up in Ireland's neighbouring country one can assume she knows we don't speak in limericks and that we have things like mobile phones or running water. But the trailer's biggest head-scratcher is Dornan, considering, I don't know, he is an actual Irish person? He is a Belfast lad, so his natural Northern Irish accent differs to the (what I'm assuming is supposed to be) Midlands accent of his character, but he could've chatted to some pals from counties further south. Or maybe his Irish accent was too normal, and his American director yelled at him to speak with a "proper brogue, like Emily." Well, you won, Jamie. Enjoy the money, I hope it makes you very happy.
As for the rest of Hollywood, next time you're about to give a production like this the green (white and orange) light, consider consulting the plethora of talented Irish actors, directors and writers who can help you avoid a cringe-fest like this that provokes the wrath of Irish Twitter and critics. Unless the movie is meant to draw hate-fuelled publicity and watches, in which case, congratulations: it's working! But as an Irish person who lived in the USA, I want reparations for every insufferable attempt at my accent I had to listen to and every quip about Lucky Charms, Green Things™ and alcohol I endured. Pay up, Hollywood.